Mixed tape

Ok, so its been a while since I've written.. quite frankly, I've been too unwell to think about it! So much for my reprieve from "morning sickness"!!! This last week and half has been a rollercoaster - stress, sickness, emotional wreck (I cry watching the news), headaches to bring down a country and of course so bloody tired. Again, I'm sorry Joe. I really should never tease you again about man-flu whinging (but I probably will).

For the first time in my life, I have employment insecurity.. and what great timing it is. I've never had problems holding a job down or being employable.. in fact, its always been the opposite for me (luckily). I'm wondering if my nine lives have run out! Ohhh what a time to possibly be without employment. I don't do things in halves! I'm sure it'll be ok. I might pick up some temp work until something permanent comes in.. I'm sure all this stress is hardening up the bundle of joy brewing inside - thats what I'm telling myself anyway...

I told my boss that I was pregnant. I know, a big gamble but I was chatting to her about my contract being renewed and she has been pushing "the powers that be" and they don't seem to be coming to the party. So I walked out of her office, called Joe, broke down in tears and thought I've got nothing to lose by telling her at this point. She's a family woman and will understand. And maybe she'll fight the fight even more for me. Well, I marched into her office all confident, then broke down in tears again and told her I'm preggers. She was so excited and gave me a hug and said she will fight for me no matter what. Here's hoping.

Yesterday I had the headache from hell. Everytime I woke up from my slumber, my head started pounding instantly. Not sure if its the stress or the fact that I'm dehydrated. I'm tipping its a bit of both. Funny thing is, I slept and slept and slept. Sleepy McSnorepants I was - until 1pm when the phone rang. I'm wondering how long I would've slept if I wasn't so rudely interrupted by my work phone! At least the head felt a bit better and I drank water like a fish (and in turn, started peeing like a racehorse). The headache still continues today but its eased off enough for me to write something today. I've just gotta get over the fact that all I want to do (and probably need to do) is nothing. Absolutely diddly-squat. I've been sleeping and lying around watching episodes of parenthood (I know, its probably embarrassing but I don't care - blame the baby). I feel guilty for taking this time but Joe keeps reassuring me I must need it and I need to slow down if I'm cooking this bun in my oven. Ok, I'll try.

I was reading about breastfeeding yesterday.. holy dooley! I didn't realise it was such a science. I thought you popped the kid on there until it was full and take it off and maybe give it a burp and voila! Done and dusted. But nooooo I apparently was a bit far off - even Joe knew more than I did. There's football holds and hips/shoulder positions, pillows and lots of touching your own boobies to avoid sore nipples. Then there's the pain when the milk actually comes down and cold cabbage leaves. Man, have I got a lot to learn.

Last night I was chatting to Joe about the possibility of a "mixed tape" for the birth. He laughed and reminded me it would be the ipod. I realise that, but don't ruin my retro nostalgia honey.  I came up with some very apt songs I thought would be great in the birth suite... let me know what you think:

Push it - Salt n Pepa

Against all odds - Phil Collins

Baby Got back - Sir Mix-a-lot (for breech birth)

Born to be alive - Patrick Hernandez

Breaking the girl - Red hot chilli peppers

Feels like the first time - Foreigner

Nothings gonna stop us now - Starship

Can't stop this thing we started - Bryan Adams

Breathe - Prodigy

Can you feel it - the Jacksons

Can't fight this feeling - REO Speedwagon

Highway to hell - ACDC

Come as you are - Nirvana

Cuts like a knife - Bryan Adams (too much???)

Darling it hurts - Paul Kelly

Do you really want to hurt me - Culture club

You can't hurry love - The Supremes

Killing me softly - Fugees

Bust a move - Young MC

Sexy and I know it - LMFAO (particularly for the "wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah")

Shut up - Black eyed peas (particularly for Joe when needed)

Slip slidin away - Paul Simon

Better be home soon - Crowded house

The Winner takes it all - ABBA

Survivor - Destinys child

P.S.  as we speak, I just got unexpected "get well" flowers delivered home.. they were from Joe - he is the most amazing, caring and thoughtful man and every day I love him more and more..  I couldn't think of anyone I would rather have as the father of my child.