Let's face it, my armpits and the rest of me have become 2 separate identities. If you were standing next to me on the bus and I was holding the rail above, you wouldn't even be polite, you'd tell me to sort that shit out. BUT only if you were standing on my right.. weird I know, but for some reason, all my stinky cells have converged into my right armpit. Poor Joe, he sleeps on my right side and most of the time he drives the car, so he's always on my right stinky side. My pathetic deoderants weren't cutting it, so I had to move to the industrial strength blokes pit spray and it seems to work! Fortunately for me, I love the smell of Joe's deoderant, however I'm sure the general population query my gender when they walk past (apart from the protruding bump and the coloured hair and the occasional dress that is). I could always say that we just had hot steamy sex and I'm now smothered in man-smell... but that would be a lie.
So much has happened in the last couple of weeks.. we finally met our baby on the big screen - what an experience. Firstly, there was the filling of the bladder for the scan. The woman tells me when I made the scan booking "drink one litre of water prior to an hour before your appointment, then go to the toilet, THEN drink another 600mls" so of course I did exactly what I was told - struggling the whole way (the slow digestion even happens with water!!!). Then I virtually pee'd about 200-300mls and then drank the 600mls. So I reckon by the time I got to the screening place my bladder was holding over a litre. I told the girl at the desk and she said if it got too bad that I could go to the toilet, count to 5 and then stop... well, I knew that if I even got to 5, the gates would be open and there would be no turning back. I said I'd see how I went. Meanwhile it got to the point that I was almost in tears, couldn't sit down and was doing laps of the waiting room. So I went to the toilet 3 times to let some out (not counting to five, maybe to two). When I went into the scan, I could barely get on the bed, I was waddling like I was 39 weeks pregnant and Joe almost had to get a forklift for me. I was fighting back the tears and then the probe was pushing into my belly - I nearly had to call it quits until the sonographer lady said to me "OH MY GOD, how are you holding that much in your bladder? Your bladder is actually pushing into your womb and I can't really get the best pictures" well duh - now you tell me. So she took a few photos and then told me to empty my bladder (woohoo!) and once I did that she could actually see the munchkin and I could enjoy the whole thing. The first thing that Joe said "there's only one" yep, there's only one, thank goodness. It was such a relief when I saw the baby moving! I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before (I don't really spend my days re-reading my own blog) but the couple of weeks before the scan I was feeling much better, less nausea and more energy so I wasn't really feeling pregnant. I was just hoping the baby was still there and healthy. Well, we were not disappointed, it was moving around like a mexican jumping bean, giving us a bit of a show (and a wave at one stage). THANK GOD ITS STILL THERE AND MOVING. It was flipping about and kicking and stretching - what an amazing sight. Then I heard the heartbeat and it opened the other floodgates, I was sobbing like a little girl. Dammit, I was trying to be tough too. We wanted to know the sex and it seems that its a girl! Wow. You could've knocked Joe over with a feather. Of course at this stage its only 75% and I didn't want to shout it from the rooftops yet until it is confirmed at the next scan but there was definitely no 'bits' sticking out anywhere. Joe's family don't have girls, apparently in 5 generations there's only 3 girls.. so everyone wanted a girl, my mum and his mum and I secretly did because Joe already has an 8yo boy but of course I would've been happy either way. Joe doesn't know what the hell he's going to do with a girl, he only knows boys toys and games. I told him she will be the apple of his eye - daddy's girl (to which he admitted under his breath). We have a name but that is top secret, we have to keep some surprises! It was a very emotional day and it kept me on a high for a few days after that.
After the scan I called my mum, I knew that as soon as she answered the phone I would be a mess.. I rang her at work, she picked up the phone and I couldn't talk through the tears and she thought something had gone wrong and I managed a meek "no, its a girl" and then she was balling and had to go get someone to do her job so she could compose herself and call me back. I told her later that instead of thinking I was 12 weeks and 1 day, I'm actually 12 weeks and 5 days which means the baby is due on her birthday - 18th October - more sobbing. Maybe the sooky la la trait is genetic.
I got the scan results the other day for Down Syndrome and other chromosomal disorders and my doctor made me wait for an hour and 10mins - hello! Stressed out and anxious pregnant lady in the waiting room! Note to all: do not keep the following people waiting - pregnant women, people with young children and especially the elderly (the elderly will complain, yell at receptionists and write a letter to their local councillor). So apparently I'm very low risk for all these disorders.. my age automatically put me in the high risk bracket but coming up the field was my blood test and the nuchal thickness - all strong contenders that got us clearly over the line. Another THANK GOD moment.
Oooh I meant to tell you all that I got the job on the other side of the milky way! It is permanent so all is good again in the world. I am a little nervous about having to tell the new boss lady but hopefully she will be understanding (thats what I keep telling myself). I finished my current job yesterday and it was sad as I was working 5 mins from home with a great team. They gave me a going away gift which is baby stuff and our first baby gifts (apart from my mum who has already bought stuff with more to come she keeps telling me). And amongst all this, we had to buy a new car because we will need 2 cars for work. We were going to buy a newbie closer to the due date anyway but it just had to come sooner. So, we went all out and bought a brand new family car, the Mazda CX5 - its soo goddamn sexy, I still almost wet my pants when I get in it! And thats not the dodgy pregnant bladder either... we find ourselves driving around constantly , making excuses to drive to the other end of Queensland to 'look at stuff'. Its an exciting time and I'm looking forward to popping a baby capsule in there and driving bub around, showing off my new baby in my new car hehehe (hopefully not falling asleep at the wheel).
